Masturbate for Peace Bumper Stickers

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Hairy palms, not cluster bombs
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War's not kind, beat yourself blind
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Cream your khakis, not Iraqis.
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Peace is spiffy, stroke your stiffy
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Don't send the fleet, just beat your meat
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War is shit, rub your clit
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Side with France, reach down your pants
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Peace is the issue. Use a tissue.
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War is Crappy, Slap Your Pappy
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War's for squares, play downstairs
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Stop war now, milk your cow
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When you jerk tonight, keep peace in sight.
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Down with war, stroke some more
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War is cruel - flog your mule
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Get peace fever, rub your beaver!
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War is heinous, thumb your anus
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You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms
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War is Mean, Flick Your Bean
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War is wrong, whack your schlong.
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I'm going blind for Mankind
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War is silly, whack your willy
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Think globally, whack locally
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(Don't smitten, kill a kitten.)